What's wrong with me?
by LittleBlackAngel
Summary: Draco's thinking: There's a history of mental diseases in the Malfoy family. What's going on? Why have I been blacking out?


Me no own

You no sue.

If you read

Please Review!

He stared at the ceiling above his bed. Trying to figure out what was going on.

It wasn't really his fault he had multiple personalities, was it? Schizophrenia wasn't a common disease among Malfoys, so he had to suck it up. His father refused to believe he wasn't like his father or his grandfather, or his great-grandfather, and his mother tried to pretend he didn't exist. It's strange though, his mother pretends his father doesn't exist. He was never diagnosed with it, it's just commonly known that that's how he is. It was a strange type of schizophrenia that he had though. Most of the time he was "Mean Malfoy" instead of "Nice Draco." In movies, books, TV shows, everything the schizophrenic was nice most of the time, then mean when pulled to the end of his chain. These people remembered everything when they're mean, but when they're nice they're oblivious to what they did just moments before. He probably remembered exactly what was going on when he was nice Draco, but when he was mean Draco, he couldn't remember what happened when he was nice Draco. What he did know he had some time that he couldn't remember what he did, but he had a strange feeling of happiness. He knew he wasn't drunk, because he won't touch alcohol. He knew it wasn't the imperious curse because he would have seen the light coming, or heard the curse. He didn't even know it was really schizophrenia.

Maybe he was just crazy.

If he was crazy, it wasn't his fault, was it? Being driven crazy was definitely an almost sure thing if you're a Malfoy. Of his father's generation, Lucius was the only one not driven to St. Mungo's. It's true. The Dark Lord himself was insane, and he wondered if all of "The DARK Side" Was mostly crazy. Potter was probably crazy, I mean why would you try to protect people who don't even know you exist. Okay, well maybe that wasn't crazy. He heard a scream come from down stairs, and some maniacal laughter. Okay, well, maybe his father WAS crazy. He knew for a fact that when the last battle came, he would kill his father. He would kill him for his mother. He loved his mother. She brought him the joy that he could never get from his father. She told him stories of her brother, Sirius and his best friends Moony, Prongs, and (she would always spit the last name) Wormtail. Of the three latter boys, he knew only on of their real names. Wormtail Peter Pettigrew. He knew that Sirius went by Padfoot in the old days. Why? He had no idea. But he did know that Sirius Black was innocent. He had seen Peter Pettigrew with his own eyes. He saw how his mother looked at the worm of the Death Eaters. He knew his mother was why he was a spy. Maybe he wasn't crazy.

Maybe he was just sentimental,

If he was sentimental it wasn't his fault, was it? It wasn't part of being a Malfoy at all. He knew that being a Malfoy meant that you had to be a cold hearted bastard. Too bad his mother had looked up to her two-year-older, Gryffindor brother. Too bad he knew the only four people in contact with Sirius within almost fifteen years of his death was the golden trio and the headmaster. He found a letter on the ground once, carelessly left by the hot tempered red-headed one signed by snuffles. He knew that the only one who had escaped from Azkaban who had to be this secret was his uncle. He had tracked down the girl of the golden trio and told her what was going on in the DE meetings (after showing her his scar and agreeing to drink a truth potion that she herself brewed) in return for information about how "Snuffles" was doing. He relayed to his mother all the news he could. The truth potion, he knew, was not the blackouts with happiness he assumed to be schizophrenia earlier. He was aware enough to remember he drank them. The happy blackouts (or HB he liked to refer to them as) had started when, well he couldn't remember when, but he knew they were sort of recent. He looked at his nightstand, and opened the drawer. There was a single photograph of a girl with bushy brown hair and dark chocolate eyes. Ah.

He was in love.

Suddenly all the memories of his HB's came back. Hermione. Hermione. Hermione entering the great hall. Hermione coming to one of their meetings in the girl's bathroom, crying like the ghost he had been conversing with and hugging him because Viktor dumped her. Hermione telling him she never told anyone before him. Hermione telling him exactly what happened last time she met with Sirius. Hermione laughing about one of the Marauder's expeditions. Hermione crying for him when he told her what he went through to become a DE. Hermione laughing at his joke. Hermione falling asleep on his chest. Hermione apologizing profusely afterwards, explaining she had just been too comfortable. Hermione looking him in the eyes and blushingly looking away. Hermione's eyes on his back in potions. Hermione kissing him on the cheek and bidding him goodnight with an adorable shade of pink across her cheeks. Hermione. Hermione. Hermione.

He remembered who he was, and who she was. Afraid of rejection, he brought his wand to his head and wiped his memories.

All he was left with was a blank feeling of happiness.

What do you think, peeps?

Didja like it?

If you didn't like it: review, and tell me why.

If you did like it: review and tell me

If you feel like flaming: be my guest.

If you don't feel like reviewing: Juts LEAVE!! I don't love you anyway.

If you think the pairing sucks: I'm choosy about pairings too. I hate Hr/H and Hr/R It's just wrong. I hate Hr/Viktor too. I don't mind Hr/Oliver Wood and Hr/one of the weasley twins, but that's beside the point. If you suggest a good fic that you think would convert me, suggest it, and maybe I'll write a story you like. BUT Draco goes with nobody else. (DracoGinny? Someone told me it's like Romeo and Juliet. Hell NO! HrD is much more like it. But they shouldn't be star-crossed. I don't like slash.)


End file.
